Friday, August 5, 2011

Curly ~ Final Part

Continued from previous posts, Curly ~ Part 1, Curly ~ Part 2, and Curly ~ Part 3.

That terrifying night brought Curly into perspective for me. When I was told we would be moving again, there was no question in my mind that Curly would be coming along this time. For the first time ever, I was getting to take my best friend with me.

We found the best transportation available that would bring Curly to Lubbock, Texas, and we anxiously awaited his arrival. I fretted like any “mother” that something had happened on his trip to Texas, but finally he pulled up in the fancy long-distance travel trailer. We got him settled in in his new home, and I kissed him goodbye as we left to go unpack.

Things got really busy as I settled into yet another new school. This time it was high school, the middle of tenth grade that I was having to make the transition. The hardest move for me yet, without a doubt. This was the one move that my horse had been able to make with me, but for some reason I didn’t appreciate it nearly as much as I should have. The stress of changing high schools in the middle of the year had an ill effect on me, and I began to go see Curly less and less. I had bigger concerns, like trying to make friends in the cliqueiest school I had ever attended. It was very hard.

Every time I did go out to see Curly, he seemed to behave worse and worse. I know why now, and it breaks my heart. Curly was used to seeing me every day, and now he was lucky to see me once a month. It’s painful to admit this emotional neglect I bestowed on him because I still love him to this day. I wish I could change it; I wish I could go back and never have allowed myself to let down the one friend in this new place who never let me down. I broke Curly’s heart, and I discovered that that is a much more searing pain than the other way around.

I eventually realized that Curly deserved better than what I could give him and we sold him to good owners. I still think of him often and wonder why I let him go after I fought so hard to get him and keep him . . . through the initial unexpected selling, the terrible colic, the cross-state move.

If I could find Curly now I have no doubt that I would buy him back in a heartbeat. I want to make it up to him. I want to touch his curls again, to let him know how much I still love him. In the meantime, I will rest in the comfort that love knows no bounds and that maybe, just maybe, he can feel my love stretching across the miles to him.


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