I Did the Math
Have you seen this shirt? I love it! My husband hates it. Hee hee hoo hoo!
It perfectly describes my relationship with boys and horses all throughout jr high and high school. Which may explain a lot about my dating life then . . . hmmmm.
Horses don't ever break up with you or cheat on you. They don't care how you look when you get to the barn, and they don't expect you to carry on an intelligent conversation. Or any conversation for that matter. At the same time, they really don't care if you want to talk their fuzzy little ears off. Boys, on the other hand, really do NOT like having their fuzzy little ears talked off. So far, horses: 5, boys: 0.
Horses are big and strong and hairy, though. All very manly traits, I might add. They are very affectionate and snuggly, AND they run a lot faster than your average boy! Okay, they run a lot faster than ANY boy. Most of them will also let you dress them up in whatever frills you desire. Try that with your man. He won't like it. I know.
Oh, and horses are really good at keeping secrets. It's to be noted that my husband is an incredibly good and trustworthy secret-keeper, but many boys are severely lacking in this department. You know, those boys who spent way too much time with their uber-gossipy mothers and think it's normal behavior for them to act that way . . . unacceptable. Once again, horses win.
Basically, I definitely think I should own this shirt. I will wear it whenever I want to ostracize every y-chromosome in the vicinity. Which I really don't want to do, so maybe I'll just buy it and put it on an extra-large teddy bear or something.